U.S.A. On May 23, 2014, Elliott Rodger, son of The Hunger Games’ assistant director Peter Rodger, opened fire on the University of California-Santa Barbara campus, leaving seven people dead and more than 13 people wounded from this incident. All of this occurred because of his angst of being a virgin at the age of 22.

Now, looking at this situation from an outside perspective, most of us assume or blame the shooter for being stupid to go on a shooting rampage just because he could not get laid. Critics, politicians and activists jumped on this news headline as another outcry for stricter gun laws, mental health awareness and even the threat of violent video games. However, we should also be looking at society’s pressure on girls and boys to be popular and the ways these individuals think they can achieve it.

Upon hearing Rodger’s motivation for these shootings, millions scrambled to social media to have a say in the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter, which raised awareness as to what everyday girls deal with as a result of having female body parts. Examples included being afraid to walk home at night for fear of being raped or how wearing a dress to a bar on a Friday night appears to be an invitation to be sexually assaulted. The powerful movement brought out strong feelings from both men and women, both positive and negative. These tweets and blogs have brought out peculiar insights into what we think of society and sex culture.

Here is where the problem lies within our (Western) society:

  1. Society teaches us that societal rejection and failure defines your rank as a person.
  2. Society teaches us that you are only as cool as the other gender thinks you are. If you are ugly or unpopular, good luck getting anywhere in life.
  3. Society teaches us that sex is a way to find popularity, success and love.

What kind of message is society giving kids today if the only way to achieve success and popularity is by the number of people that go through your sheets? While flipping through Rodger’s 140-page manifesto titled “My Twisted World,” Rodger explains how his hatred for the world stems from girls’ denial. I am sure all of us can relate to a time where we were denied by our crush at a frat party or even a middle school dance. We can empathize with Rodgers on the defeated feeling of rejection. Though the sentiments may be difficult to bear, failure is a part of life. However, society has taught Rodger and many other boys and girls that if you keep receiving rejection from the opposite sex, then you are practically worthless. Rodger was never the most popular boy in school, but he thought his peers achieved that status because of how many girls went to bed with them. And back in high school and even college, there is some truth behind his logic.

People have stated that as a 22-year-old boy from a rich school with a well-to-do father in Hollywood, Rodgers could have hired a prostitute in order to be de-virginized. However, sex was not Rodger’s issue as most of the media is trying to argue — it just makes a great headline. Rodger wanted love and acceptance, and he believed the only way to feel those two things were to end up with some girl that would take his virginity. Once one girl slept with him, he believed he would be free from the degrading virgin title.

We can assume that Rodgers sleeping with a girl would not solve all of his emotional and social problems because it was just a cover to his underlying search for love and acceptance by his peers. The depressing notion is that we will never know what would have saved Rodger and those killed on that Friday night, but society will continue to teach kids that sex and popularity are the most important achievements in life.