We as human beings are never complete even if all of our feelings are seen to be. Within each of us there lies a small portion of unsatisfactory statement that slowly over the passing time, turns onto us, even if we try to be significant we find some part of it to be missing. This feeling of “lack of being” kind of acted as a strange phenomenon, in which people like us lie submerged.
This all started to happen in the year of 2016, when I first left home for job purpose and had to stay alone for more than a year, away from the family members. Sudden nightmares and unnecessary cramps seemed to surround me always and a feeling of haunted past always played hide and seek with me. Slowly the happiness faded away as workload began to increase and I was always in a mood that made me realize that I had no existence of my own. After being diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression, I felt that I started to worry about everyday life events without any particular reasons and I always expected disasters to happen no matter how soothing the situations were. I started talking on my own and felt the burden of stress along with palpitation and chronic nervousness wherever I went. There was a strange euphoric rush regarding the feeling of always being left alone, which was becoming hard to control. At that time I realized that this is not a general feeling, but a condition faced by most of the people now days. I decided to document it.
Till now I have always looked for ways to express myself through the photographs that I try to take. I believe this strange phenomenon of mine as a gift through which I am able to send messages in a sort of thought provocative way, that I am not the only one out there. People like us exist and this is a common scenario, currently faced by a lot of people.
This is merely a subjective approach of mine towards a project that I have been doing for quite a long time. I am merely showing the situation of my mind at this moment through the plethora of caliginous feelings. These are all how I see my surroundings and the nature when I am down with anxiety attacks. I am searching for the eternal euphoria amidst all these construed illusions of the habitat existing between me and my feelings. For which I have termed this project as Forms.
Expressing all of these through a series of photographs kind of makes me feel happy but momentarily.