Dear Mr. Bay,

It’s been recently announced that there will be a Transformers Five. I know that you’re pretty excited. With the money from this installment, you’ll probably be able to buy an island or make a clone of yourself who’ll be able to make movies forever.

In the past you’ve stated that you make movies for teenage boys. I respect your dedication to your audience. The inner teenage boy in me used to scream every time that I saw an explosion or a beautiful model turned actress. However, things have changed. My voice has dropped, my chin hairs are starting to unionize into a beard, and explosions aren’t enough anymore.

Perhaps it was after the thirtieth slow-mo in Transformers: Dark of the Moon that the inner teenage boy in me started to yawn. Boom, boom, bang, and a teardrop are the go to tools for your movies. It’s a brilliant formula that’s made you millions and maybe even billions. But Mr. Bay just imagine how brilliant your movies could be if you added more boom to your storylines.

Pow, there goes a strong female character. Bang, there goes a sensical commentary about the use of technology in our society. Combine the explosive storylines with your eye for explosions, and you could have the best of both worlds. You’ll still be able to make movies for teenage boys, and movies that are critically successful.


A Fan